Professional Growth on Pause: A Military Wife’s Story of Child Care Barriers

One Woman’s Work and Life Goals Put on Hold Due to Lack of Child Care

Brittney Lemelle’s world completely changed the moment she had her daughter. For starters, they both nearly lost their lives during childbirth. As a military wife, Brittney had worked hard her entire life to become independent, yet she still felt drawn to becoming a stay-at-home mom.  

Just under 2 pounds at birth, her daughter is now 11 years old and Brittney has since had two more healthy daughters. Needless to say, they are a house full of strong women. 

When she was ready to return to work, Brittney and her husband had to make a choice for her to stay home longer due to not being able to afford child care expenses. At the time, Brittney was not aware of child care alternative payment programs she may have qualified for through the state, and she also wasn't aware of child care assistance through the military. 

Once she found out about Military Child Care in Your Neighborhood (MCCYN), a fee assistance program for eligible families, she sat on waitlists for YEARS without progress. There were never any openings for her three daughters. This stopped Brittney from going back into the workforce, which she was seeking for her own mental health. 

“How can I go back to work and make less than what I owe in child care expenses?” questioned Brittney. “How can I do that, even though I have a Master of Education degree?”

Dishes piled up. She grew angry and upset. And she started to feel resentful of her husband's booming career in the military. Every time they moved, his status with his work improved, but Brittney was forced to start over. 

They didn't have family and friend support like many other military families. They also had the extra complication of being a family that never stayed long enough to build trusting connections until it was time to move to the next spot. On occasion, once they did have an opportunity to establish trusting and loving friends, it was yet again time to go. 

This cycle was put on repeat – over and over and over again. Brittney’s ability to go back to work and her dreams of growing professionally were significantly halted. 

At long last, Brittney was able to go back to work. Then less than two years later…COVID hit. Since her pay was so low, she was again forced to make the decision to stay home with her children – who she loves dearly – but it was a hard transition for her. Her professional growth had been stopped in its tracks once again. 

Then in January 2022, she finally picked back up to work with a company who had TOOTRiS, a child care platform that offers employer-sponsored child care benefits. This gave her extra money to use toward child care expenses and made her paycheck worth going back to work!

Since then, her husband has had to leave the military due to medical reasons (after serving 19 years) – and all the sacrifices Brittney made as a military spouse felt tragically lost. 

Brittney dedicated so many years to supporting her husband, and now they both have not been able to accomplish what they wanted. Despite the odds against them, they have slowly picked up the pieces and her husband is starting on another career. 

Brittney’s story is far from over. Brittney hopes she can continue to grow in her current role, and also help other women do the same so they don't have to sacrifice their life goals. 

Brittney is just one of the many stories about barriers to child care. Do you have a story to share? Send it to us here.


United WE believes investing in military families’ ability to fully participate in the workforce is a fitting tribute to those individuals who chose to serve their communities. We have had great success in achieving policy reform for occupational licensing, including reducing barriers to licensing and licensing reciprocity (when one state honors professional licenses of another) for military spouses.Our work also includes a deliberate effort to acknowledge the struggles of frontline, veteran and survivor families. We have supported bills and expansions for pursuing higher education -- without the burden of tuition or debt -- to the children and spouses of veterans or first responders who lost their life or were injured in the line of duty. In addition, our 2015 study and report, Project Diane, focused on the barriers faced by women in the military as well as the potential benefits of gender integration in the U.S. Army Special Forces. We have supported bills and expansions for pursuing higher education.